Bottom line up front: Five pancakes. Datz. Five. Pancake. Rating.

OK, now that that’s over, let’s see how it is we got to that conclusion. Think of this as an art-house movie where the plot unwinds in reverse. Only now it’s going to go forward from the start, just with the ending at the beginning. Oh, for cryin’ out loud, I have no idea. Here’s how the morning started, with Marek looking pretty much like I expect Axel Rose looks in the mornings.

Breakfast? Let’s GO!

We’re driving down the road and it’s bitter cold, for Florida, anyway, which means 40s. Check out this great classic Bug. It’s not only a convertible, it’s a convertible that’s completely missing its top. This poor guy was chattering so loud we could hear him.

Who needs to pay to see the Monster Truck Jam when you live in Central Florida and Monster Trucks are just, well, here.

We stopped to look at old firetrucks. What kind of day can you have if it starts with firetrucks? That’s right, a good day.

Tight looking Toyota. But not for $12k. Not for a ’95. Unless it’s got something SERIOUS under that hood. Like the engine from a nuclear sub or sumthin.

It’s a lovely day in Central Florida. Sky as blue as Ivo’s eyes. Air as cold as a summer day in Canada. Palm trees. Sunshine. Bayshore Boulevard.

Marek and Andy, we’re ready. Ready for some PANCAKES. As if you didn’t know that already. This is an art-house scene. We’re just trying to keep you interested, lest you, our dear reader, may get bored reading about kids eating pancakes every weekend for two years.

We’re at Datz Deli at 2616 South MacDill Avenue Tampa. It’s 12 February 2011. We’re hungry. Datz has a nice web site at http://www.datzdeli.com/. there’s a whole lotta buzz in town about Datz and how great it all is, so we’re here to check it out.

Marek’s ready. Those bulges are cars in his pockets. But you knew that already because you’ve already figured out that Marek’s always got cars in his pockets.

Inside Datz is not what you’d think from the outside. It’s vast inside, multiple levels, walls of wine, mix of restaurant and deli and bar. Bricks. Exposed pipes. Chain link. Its a trendy setting.

We sat by the bar. There’s kids involved, or I’d sit AT the bar. With two kids, sitting at the bar is always on my mind.

Everywhere we turn, there’s a special and custom touch. The menu is a custom Datz newspaper.

Coffee comes quickly, in extra-large cups that are custom Datz. Attention to all sorts of detail here.

Me and Ivo, we’re on the scene. The breakfast scene! With a smiling firetruck!

This is a special Tampa Bay Breakfast, because we have our long-time Tampa Bay Breakfasts fan Brianna with us. We’ve been trying to get her to breakfast for over a year.

Datz is actually a recommendation from Brianna. Ivo is a recommendation from me.

Brianna brought presents! That’s a great Guest Reviewer … Thank you, Brianna!

So Marek and Brianna, they’re playing cars. Back and forth, back and forth, and then Marek’s Junior Dragster goes right over the edge and down into the deli area.

We never did get that car back. That’s OK. It’ll be a fond memory for Datz of when Tampa Bay Breakfasts came for pancakes!

Back to the menu. Ivo helps. The menu has his favorite thing on it: Food.

They chose this ginormous mocha coffee bowl.

Time for Ivo to get ready for breakfast. Chicks do, indeed, dig him. What girl doesn’t love a guy in a bib?

And here comes pancakes! Ivo practically sprung a hamstring trying to get at the bacon. Just like his big brother.

Marek had pancakes, bacon, eggs, and also helped himself to whatever Brianna had. The bacon was like a slab straight from the pig. Which is actually pretty gruesome to talk about when you’re eating it.

Let’s have another look at those pancakes. They don’t do blueberry pancakes. Unless you ask, and then they do. That really impressed me.

Watch out. You’re halfway through your pancakes and suddenly you find a tiny hand on your plate. Be careful, you might lose some pancakes. Or accidentally eat a baby hand.

Even after Ivo grabbed my pancakes and I ate his hand, we were able to stay friends.

Really cute friends.

The bill came. This is not a cheap breakfast. But the class act that is Datz, the great food, and the wonderful service, that all adds up to me saying it’s a fair price.

After breakfast, Marek and Brianna played a new game, “sunglasses.”

Incredible food. Wonderful, detail-oriented atmosphere. Great people. Really a fine Tampa Bay Breakfast. We’re pleased to rate Datz with five pancakes.