Chavez House

It’s Local Music Day at Tampa Bay Breakfasts. This morning we’re spinning Rebekah Pulley and the Reluctant Prophets. We saw Rebekah play in Lowry Park a few years back and have been fans ever since.

To get to South Tampa, we had to drive by the University of Tampa. Now how cool would it be to be a student there? I’d say, pretty cool indeed!

We visited the Chavez House at 1350 South Howard Avenue on 5 March 2011. We found out about Chavez the way we usually find out about things, by getting lost in Tampa and seeing a sign that says “Breakfast!”

Marek found us a table. OK, I’m not going to lie, this is not his first choice. He wanted to sit inside for some reason and I kicked his little hiney outside where it was a lovely pre-Spring morning.

On the menu you’ll find Egg Crawfish Benedict. That’s a first in all of our Breakfast Travels! We just had pancakes, natch, but still, that’s unique!

We’ve already seen Marek, but not with his sunglasses! And also, in this shot you can read the plate on the front of that Lincoln. “The Great Gaspy.” Yep, that’s what it says.

Coffee’s better when you slurp it from the table.

Me and Ivo, in happier times. Before we discovered The Big Problem.

Here’s Ivo’s foot. I bet you’re wondering, “Where’s breakfast?!” Ivo’s wondering that, too.

Do you think this is a cool picture? It’s the umbrella over our heads. That’s pretty nifty! Oh. You’re wondering, where’s breakfast? So is Ivo.

That’s because … I FORGOT IVO’S BAG! So, here we are. At breakfast. No diapers. No wipes. No baby food. No bottles. No bibs. No baby spoons. We gots nuthin.

A lesser man would turn tail and run. But not Marek and me. We’re Tampa Bay Breakfast Strong! (That’s like “Army Strong” but with breakfast.) So we gave Ivo some orange juice with a pipette straw. My own father showed me how pipettes work, back when I was around Marek’s age. And here we are, that skill paying off!

You just snorted and said, “that’ll never work! You’re a bad father!”

But what you don’t know is, I’m “Tactical Dad.” I can change a juicy diaper standing up. I can fix boo-boos with a wave of my hand. And I can feed a baby without any remotely appropriate tools. And I can take a picture while I’m doing it. Try getting Macho Man Randy Savage to try that!

Here comes some real breakfast for Marek. Bacon? Check. Pancakes? Check. Yoink? Check. By this time, the guy driving The Great Gaspy car had come out, looked at us, and drove off shaking his head and chuckling, like he just saw a giant rooster playing croquet.

When you’ve got a hungry baby and no food and you’re at a nice breakfast place like Chavez House, take my advice and distract your baby with toast. He won’t actually eat it, but he’ll THINK he’s eating, and that, my friends, is sometimes all you need.

In case you have trouble interpreting baby faces, this one could be translated as “Dad, seriously, what the funnyface am I supposed to do with THIS?”

I wasn’t sure about this syrup. Even now, a couple days later, I’m still not sure. On the one hand, it’s very thick. On the other hand, it’s kinda creepy thick. Even the Pink Flamingo’s custom maple syrup isn’t like this.

I tried giving Ivo some oatmeal. For our TBB fans living in Cambridgeshire, this is “porridge.” In either language, Ivo would say it’s “yuck!” Note how he’s starting to become rather filthy and gooey in his dress and personal appearance? That’s the editorial commentary on the oatmeal.

Syrup: Cool to pour, creepy to eat.

More practice interpreting baby faces. This one is, “hey long chops, let’s lose this toast and give me those pancakes.”

So me and Ivo, we’re minding our own business trying to figure out if he’s going to start pooping and crying and win me another “Dad of the Year” award. We look up to see Marek going Xena on his pancakes, complete with Kung Fu noises.

I’d like to explain this to you, dear TBB reader. I really would.

This picture is so totally staged. If it were real, I could easily take this from Ivo. I outweigh him by like a million pounds.

While Ivo and I are wrestling over toast, Marek said, “hey old man, make with some cash. I’ve got a bike thing to get to.”

The bill wasn’t bad. For all that it was just 11 clams. For the location on South Howard I expected it to be higher.

Marek’s new thing. “Look at my big belly!” He’s doing this to traffic driving by.

Breakfast was quite nice. The syrup was weird. The location is great, and sitting outside was lovely. The price was right and the people were pretty friendly. This is a very nice breakfast stop in South Tampa. We’re happy to give Chavez House a Tampa Bay Breakfasts Four Pancake Rating.

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Chavez at Home on Urbanspoon

After breakfast, we continued the no-baby-bag crap-shoot that is a morning with dad, and we went to Bayshore to ride bikes. This was our first time on Bayshore on foot. Favorite Guest Reviewer Mom walked this road during the Susan Kommen 3-Day a few years back, but Andy, Marek, and Ivo, we’ve only driven by.

The view is lovely, isn’t it? Oh, and also the water and the skyline, not just the view of my kids.

Marek and I spent a considerable amount of time pointing out all the sharks and how they were playing football. Ivo spent the same amount of time gnawing through that big old piece of Cuban toast.

Just a normal day. Hey Marek and Ivo of the future, when it’s 20 years from now and you’re reading this, your old man says hi!

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