Maggie Mae’s

The Scion FR-S is a family car. Seriously, look at all the kids you can jam into this vehicle.

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We’re driving down the road. Ivo says, “daddy, I can’t see!”

I say, “but why, Ivo?”

He says, “because Batman’s in my eyes.”

True story. Here’s a picture to prove it.

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Marek is now officially a bookworm. I knew a young fellow three or more decades ago who was glued to a book all the time, so I don’t mind that Marek’s turning out that way, too.

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We’re heading to Clearwater, which means we have to drive by the airport, which means we can go round and round up the parking garage and back down the other side, Tokyo Drift style!

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The view from the top of the airport parking garage.

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The view from the Clearwater Beach bridge. Lovely day for breakfast!

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The view from the top of the world, Tampa Bay Breakfasts style.

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We visited Maggie Mae’s on 24 August 2013. We were just in time, we got to sit outside. Maggie Mae’s is at 1261 Gulf Blvd Clearwater Beach, FL 33767, and they have a nice web site at http://www.maggie-maes.com/. When you go, note that it’s not obvious from the road. Look next door to The Columbia, tucked into the strip mall.

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Marek announced that he was going to unwrap all the flatware for us. I asked that maybe he not, not all of it. But I do applaud his initiative, this being a boy who can’t be bothered to put on underpants and all.

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The impressive menu. For a tiny spot in a strip mall, the offering is wide-ranging. This is just the first page. (I did not get the “Dad’s Best,” though that would be my “thing” to get something so named. Nor did I get the “Hillbilly Taters,” which may also find affinity with me.)

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Like I say, the menu be good enough to eat. If you go to Maggie Mae’s you may be given a menu with a corner gnawed off. That’d be thanks to Ivo.

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Hot chocolates for the boys. And hot coffee for me. This was before we realized we were sitting in the 140 degree morning sun. That’s Fahrenheit, for our loving readers in more northern, colder, Centigrade locales.

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So I’m sitting here with a boy named Marek (not too many of those in Florida, but there’s a few, if the Internet can be believed) and a boy named Ivo (none of those in Florida, I bet) and who strolls up like it’s just a normal day, but a guy named Ivo.

(We knew he was coming, so it’s not like a complete surprise!)

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Our delightful waitress was from Bremen. I thought she sounded like she was from up north. She also informed the boys that the owner of Maggie Mae’s likes Rod Stewart, a singer whom I was surprised to discover isn’t dead yet. And, in the course of the extensive background research I do for these articles, his name is actually “Roderick.”

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When “Big Ivo” left his smart phone on the table, he discovered just how fast Marek can order a pizza. “Extra Angry Birds,” hollers Ivo-the-younger.

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Breakfast took a little while to arrive, but this little shop was pretty slammed. Big Ivo got the pancakes, bacon, and eggs. I think, it’s not like we were actually able to talk much during the time leading up to this, what with the whirlpool of boys circling us.

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Here’s what we all suspected was actually happening. Marek taking his bacon and trying to find a vein.

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Younger Ivo, always with the knife, this one.

In hindsight, this was such a chaotic experience, trying to talk with big Ivo and all, I don’t even remember if the boys ate anything.

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If Edgar Allen Poe had lived in Florida, the poem would read, “Quoth the Seagull … Nevermore!”

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Ivo the shorter one is going to go find the check. Notice how sweaty he is now. A working breakfast professional has to endure all sorts of climates.

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Off they go, intrepid lads. Ivo with the cash. Marek for security and navigation. These boys might turn into a dynamite, unstoppable team one day.

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Out of focus shot (how does that happen with a modern smart phone, anyway?), but check out the curious kid assessing what they’re up to. They don’t know I’ve crept in behind them to observe. (I’m not there for security, but for curiosity, to see how they handle themselves when I’m not there.)

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Our cheerful Bremener waitress caught me in the act. Apparently she thought this was a hoot.

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Ivo came back with the bill (though Marek was hauling the change, for some reason). $35 for four, not bad. Especially given the waterfront location.

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Heron standing watch, in case a pancake goes flying.

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Big Ivo got in some after-breakfast exercise. I couldn’t get a good shot of him holding all three of us, sadly.

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Sacks of taters, Seely-boy-style.

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Here’s the same pose, but from the back. At about this point, Marek started chanting that we had to rent jet skis.

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This is the favorite game of the day. “Swing-an-Ivo.”

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The end of a great breakfast. Happy Marek. Dancing Ivo.

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Maggie Mae’s lived up to the hype. Excellent food. I had the home-made corned beef hash, which was outstanding. Service was maybe a little slow, but there’s a disclaimer on the menu that “things take time,” or something like that. Price was fine, considering the location. And you can’t beat the chance to have a lovely breakfast on the back bay like this. Thanks to Big Ivo for joining us! We’re pleased to give Maggie Mae’s a Tampa Bay Breakfasts five pancake rating.

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