Category Archives: Breakfasts

Breakfasts

Gobbler’s Eatery

It’s New Year’s Eve! Marek’s visiting his grandparents in Inglis for the weekend, so we’re taking a road trip for breakfast this morning. Marek packed provisions, like a good little boyscout.

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We got stopped by a train on our way out of Tampa. Check out this cherry Mustang in front of us! That’s one sweet ride! Of course, me, Marek, and the pancake-mobile could take him in the quarter-mile, but let’s keep it friendly, folks. We’re just going for breakfast.

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Marek got to choose the music for the ride. As you can see here, he was greatly torn between the latest Marylin Manson and the local musician collection “Amasura,” put out by the Withlacoochee Area Residents. He ended up choosing acoustic songs about the river. He said, but dad, we’re going to the Nature Coast. We’ve gotta set the right mood!

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We crossed the Withlacoochee and rolled into Inglis right at 0900. That’s the famished hour for Pancake Professionals like us!

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We visited Gobbler’s Eatery at 14 Highway 19 North on 31 December 2009. This was, obviously, our last breakfast of the year. Gobbler’s has a web site at http://www.gobblerseatery.com/. We’ve been to Gobbler’s a bunch of times. If you count when this restaurant was first opened as the Riverland Cafe back twenty-some years ago, I’ve been there probably 50 times in all my natural born life.

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“Camouflage” is a primary color, just like red, green, and blue. These doors hit the TBB checkbox for unique feature! And yes, the latrines are detached. Makes you think twice about having to “go” if it’s raining out!

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Inside you’ll find a very warm and homey place. Comfortable in every sense. Almost by definition it’s full of regulars; Inglis isn’t very big and, frankly, there’s not much to draw folks in from out of town. Just like at Hickory Island, we were a little disappointed that we didn’t know more people, but we did know some. When we left we already knew more.

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This was a special breakfast for us. Not only is it our last breakfast of the year, but we had a celebrity guest! All year long, folks have been asking me, “who is Steve?” Steve’s a fellow in Yankeetown we’ve known for years. He’s one of those rare individuals who understands just how Important a Breakfast can be. It’s about gosh-darned time we have him as a guest reviewer.

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After such a long ride in the car, Marek was, I’ll admit, a little cooped-up feeling. While we waited for breakfast, all he wanted to do was play.

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And play.

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And then breakfast came. That’s Steve’s son James with us also. James is the bartender at VFW post 8698, where I used to be a member until we moved to Tampa and I joined post 424. If you go to the VFW and see James, tell him you know him from Tampa Bay Breakfasts — and make sure to give him a big tip!

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When the pancakes landed, Mighty Marek was there with the speed of toast popping! This picture doesn’t lie; he actually made a little sonic boom, he moved so fast!

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When was the last time you took a group picture with Your breakfast? If you haven’t lately, you should make a point of it.

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Marek wasted no time putting the hurt on these quality pancakes.

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He puts pepper on pancakes. I figure, hey, you’re a grown man, Marek. You can make your own decisions. Whacko.

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This is a pretty good spread for the price. We even got a biscuit, in case our friend Doug Dame of Biscuit Fame is reading. And while not pictured here, the coffee was dark like the unchanged oil of an old mudding truck, bitter like battery acid. In other words, just the way we like it.

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When we were done, Marek paid the bill.

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And can you believe it? There’s a box of toys back there! Marek got a little airplane to take home! Now THAT’s a nice touch.

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Marek always gets the girls. Heck, he can recite the sensual poetry of Pablo Neruda AND he can bench press 250 pounds. He’s a dream!

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When it was all done, all we could say was, this was a fine way to wrap up a year of Pancake Pondering. We’ve had breakfasts all over the Tampa Bay area, in Hernando, Citrus, and Levy counties, and even in Germany. We’ve had some good ones and some bad ones. And this was a good one. Price for four was around 25 clams. Breakfast was large and good. Coffee bottomless. Unique place full of locals. And it’s in my hometown. Thanks, Steve and James for being part of our last 2009 breakfast!

We’re pleased to give Gobbler’s Eatery a Tampa Bay Breakfast rating of four and a half pancakes. Have a great new year!

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Now that the official part is done, when we left Gobblers we went to The End of the Road to play for a little while. A true Pancake Professional knows when to eat and he knows when to play!

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Revisit to J. Christopher’s

We re-visited J. Christopher’s on 27 December 2009.

Marek and I were sleeping, and sleeping well. When Mom says, “We’re going to J. Christopher’s! You call yourselves Pancake Professionals?! GET UP GET UP! Let’s go get pancakes! Time’s a-wastin! How can you sleep at a time like this? I’m Hongreeeeeeee……”

To which I replied, Duffman said he would do whatever you wanted! Please stop kicking and punching Duffman!

(Mom’s “in a family way.” She can drag us out of bed for breakfast as much as she likes!)

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Inside is expansive and stylish. They can sling a lotta pancakes in this joint.

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We had an exceptionally immense breakfast. The kind that should come with a cigar, a martini, and a million dollar business deal.

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This is an impressive spread. The kind you almost wish you dressed up for. It’s definitely good enough to share with friends!

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When we were done, Marek paid the bill.

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Our waitress was a very nice girl named Liza. You don’t meet a Liza every day! Well, unless you work at J. Christopher’s with her, I guess. Marek chased her down to give her a fist full of dollars!

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So at the end of the day, there’s only two things I don’t care for at J. Christopher’s. The first is that it’s such a nice place — not a hint of grease anywhere. Bill, the proprietor, has told us that they are, in fact, NOT a chain, but they still have a high degree of polish. You would expect an executive chef in the back, and not a phalanx of authentic grannies (*) plying ancient hand-woven recipes.

The second is the bill. J. Christopher’s is Not Cheap for breakfast. I’m NOT saying that it’s not worth it, because the food is simply fabulous and the people are wonderful, but save your pennies when you go!

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All that said, it’s just great food. Bill, I told you last time that we were docking you a half a point for being a chain. Since you’re not a chain after all, we’ll make good on it and grant the bump. Those blueberry crunch pancakes are awesome. We’re pleased to give J. Christopher’s a Tampa Bay Breakfasts four and a half pancake rating.

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(*) I just verified, there is no other usage of the phrase “phalanx of authentic grannies” on the Internet. Just ask Google. Innovation every day, here at Tampa Bay Breakfasts.

Grecian Island on Davis Island

Hey Old Man! This belly is needing some pancakes! Note that Marek has been so upset with the performance of the Bucs that he’s started rooting for the Verein für Bewegungsspiele Stuttgart team. He thinks he’s so cool with his Euro-football shirt.

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We had to drive through downtown. For our northern readers, please note the ridiculously beautiful day we’re having this fine Christmas eve.

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We visited the Grecian Island at 223 E Davis Blvd on 24 December 2009. This is on Davis Island, which is also home to the Pink Flamingo and Jeter’s new house.

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On our way in, we had a crazy little dose of Christmas kisses. In case you were wondering, Marek is my hairdresser.

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Inside we found a cozy little cafe about half-full of local folks. I got the impression that most of the clientele were people who live on the island.

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Marek got right into the menu. I’m hungry, long-chops!

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So you, dear reader, are wondering by now. Is this really a Greek place, or is it just a fun name on a boring old breakfast place? I’m here to tell you, with fonts like these on the menu, it’s gotta be Greek! I believe this is the same font Nikos Kazantzakis used.

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And every table comes with a jug of olive oil. A vial of oil would be a few ounces. A decanter would be maybe a half-pint. This looks like a liter jug of oil, just in case.

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We jumped right into some coffee. I don’t think this is Greek coffee. I think it was Folgers. But despite the cultural coffee discord, it was delicious. And I never saw the bottom of the cup, which is the way we like it! They’ve got the same kind of advertisement-cups that we find at the Three Coins and Mamas on Florida.

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While we waited we discussed the relative merits of the book Zorba the Greek, and how the movie role defined Anthony Quinn’s career such that he kept playing the same role over and over for years, regardless of the movie. And we talked about the pantheon of Greek gods and how I used to work for a company named after the Greek god Ares. And we played cars.

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Then we had breakfast. Pancakes. Check. Eggs. Check. Bacon. Check. The pancakes were OK. I think they were buttermilk pancakes, which aren’t my favorite. Marek liked them, though. The bacon was very crisp, in a Steve-Standard way. The eggs were just fine. Not a breakfast I’d make any complaints about. A fine, filling, frugal fare, furnished from friendly fraulein.

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When we were done, Marek paid the bill.

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He really got off easy today, as we were sitting in front of the register. I really enjoy when he has to work for it.

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When we finished up we gave kisses all around and said our goodbyes. We picked up a couple papers and sat at the picnic table outside, just enjoying the lovely island air.

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We had a very nice time at the Grecian Island. The food was fine, the price was good, the people were nice, and the location was great. All in all, a very nice little Tampa Bay Breakfast. We’re pleased to give The Grecian Island a Tampa Bay Breakfast rating of three and a half stars.

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Grecian Island on Urbanspoon

Mamma Sally’s in Crystal River

We visited Mama Sally’s restaurant at 1960 U.S. 19 in Crystal River on 19 December 2009. This was our first visit to Mama Sally’s. For our new readers, Tampa Bay Breakfasts will occasionally travel to the Levy-Citrus-Marion tri-county area for breakfast because there’s grandparents up there!

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Before we got into Mama Sally’s for pancakes, we had a bit of a run-in with a little monkey. Marek and The Roadside Wonder had a private conversation. It seemed to be along the lines of, please don’t eat my dad, O great primate! Or maybe they traded recipes for banana bread. Whatever it was, it went on, with Marek nodding his head a lot.

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The Great Ape took Marek as his own, and Marek decided maybe having a Gorilla as a dad, or a mom for all we know, wouldn’t be that bad. They made plans to live in the jungle and eat chicken nuggets and fries, the way all monkeys do.

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Then we practiced making monkey sounds. And faces. We saw Jane Goodall at a seminar one time a few years back. She didn’t do any of this.

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That was a harrowing experience. We worked up an APPETITE! Let’s get inside Mama Sally’s. Which is just next door to what is now known as The Enormous Gorilla of Crystal River.

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Right away we started having a good time. This car got a lot of miles on the odo this morning!

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This was a special treat breakfast! Grandma joined us as a guest reviewer! We love having breakfast with Grandma!

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We had coffee, too. This is the best part about Mama Sally’s — your cup never goes empty! For those of us with CCD, this is important! (Chronic Coffee Deficiency)

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We had breakfast. Some pretty good blueberry pancakes, bacon, and very buttery eggs. Marek had a pancake that he didn’t eat because he was too busy trying to play.

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Our esteemed Guest Reviewer had the omelet and pronounced it to be good.

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When we were done, Marek said he would pay the bill. Then he took the money and just put it back on the table. Really, he just wanted to play with Grandma and didn’t want to do much else!

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When we were done, Marek showed Grandma the way to the parking lot. He’s such a little Boy Scout. Of course, she wasn’t ready and didn’t want to go to the parking lot, but he made sure to help her get there.

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The bill for three was just under a Jackson. The chow was good, though I felt the pancakes were a bit small for the price. Grandma was there, which was Good. Marek didn’t eat a thing, which was Not Good. The people were very friendly and the coffee was the right shade of obsidian. Locals filled the place, and people seemed to know each other’s names. I felt that the chow was a 3 or 3.5 and the overall non-chow experience was a 4. If I’d ever made a quarter-pancake picture for the ratings, we’d probably call it 3.75. But it’s Christmas and everyone was so nice, so let’s call it 4.

We’re pleased to give Mama Sally’s a Tampa Bay Breakfast rating of four pancakes.

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Enormous Gorilla says, “Andy and Marek are groovy monkeys! Especially Marek!”

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The Caribbean Point on Hillsborough

We were just driving around today. Happy to be back in the 21st century after last week’s adventure.

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Then we saw this truck and we thought Desayunos! Juevos revueltos, cafe con leche, todos!

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We visited The Caribbean Point at 1003 W Hillsborough Ave on 10 December 2009. This was our first visit, though we’ve driven by a lot and given it the Professional Breakfast Eyeball.

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We got inside and were instantly treated to some great Cuban music and a cheerful welcome from the staff. From the look of the place, it probably gets rolling parties in the evenings. But we’re just here for breakfast. Por favor. Check out the great mural of Cuba and the Caribbean on the wall. That’s really something!

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And there’s a nice little coffee bar up front, full of regulars having a morning dose of the high-octane Cubano-style.

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While we were waiting, we pulled out the race cars. This little guy looks a lot like Drifter, my personal fav.

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The nice lady says, what would you like? I say, in my Professional Breakfast Capacity, Cafe con Leche, por favor. Si. Gracias. No, yo tengo jugo para el niño, gracias.

And that Cafe con Leche came. And whoah, baby. That’s some really fine coffee. Forget eating, folks, just go for a dose of this daddy-juice.

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And I mean “forget eating” if your name is Marek. We talked all morning about juevos. We get jeuvos, and he’s not interested. He’d barely even try the tostadas Cubanos. Maybe he’s upset that we haven’t given him a haircut yet ever in his life. But I liked my breakfast just fine! Good eggs. Great chorizo. Even the grits were good. I felt like I was in Cuba — southern Cuba, with them grits on the table!

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Marek tried the tostadas under duress. Maybe he was holding out for lunch. Who knows with kids what’s going on in their little melons?

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When we were done, Marek paid the bill. He likes the challenge!

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All the ladies, as usual, were sighing and saying, que lindo… He had to go back to get change, then go back to say gracias, then go back to give them our business card. He’s Cassanova del desayunos!

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He tried to spend the change on video keno. Little hoodlum!

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We settled the bill, finished our cafe, stopped Marek from gambling, and gave besos to all. What a nice little place this is.

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The price was rock-bottom. That hearty breakfast for seis dólares. Chow was good, people were friendly, Cuba mural was really unique. But it’s the cafe con leche that did it for us. This is a very fine desayunos Cubanos. We’re pleased to give The Caribbean Point a Tampa Bay Breakfasts four pancake rating.

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Caribbean Point (Punto Caribeno) on Urbanspoon

Revisit to Nicko’s on North Florida

We first officially visited Nicko’s back in April 2009. It was good. Shake, rattle, and roll good. Elvis, as we know, ate there in 1956. I wonder. Do you wonder? I wonder, was it as good back then as it is today? Let’s find out. Marek, take my hand. We’ll go back in time and have breakfast the way Elvis woulda done.

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The women are surely beautiful back in 1956! Maybe when this pretty girl is done at the sock hop, she’ll join us for breakfast!

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These new-fangled diner cars sure make a nice place to have a meal. I wonder what this will look like 50 years from now?

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No fish in the percolator here. This coffee makes me wanna doo-wop! It’s nice to see that even in 1956, another father and son are having breakfast together. They’re in the Elvis booth, which is our favorite place to sit. Obviously we’re visiting Nicko’s later in the year, just AFTER Elvis visited and they put up the pictures of him.

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Everyone knows that Marek’s not going to let the coffee get cold! He drinks coffee like a Mickey Spillane character.

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Here comes breakfast! They added whipped cream because Marek was so very cute. And because he’s from the future.

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Our guest reviewer had the French Toast. She said hey big daddy, this is some groovy breakfast! It’s just like what grandma used to make!

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Marek and I had the old standard, pancakes, eggs, bacon. I’d like to tell you about the flaws, but it’s all just good cookin’. Classic slingin’ hash, you need some more coffee hun, greasy spoon, good chow.

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The best part about having breakfast in the Elvis Years is the price. The three of us got hit with a $12 tab. That’s small change for a big experience like this! Marek said, don’t worry daddio, I’ll take it from here.

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He knew right where to go and made some friends along the way. Can you believe that all these nice girls came up to him to say how cute he was? He gets that all the time.

Never happens to me.

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So we traveled back in time. We had good diner coffee. We had a great breakfast. We paid the bill. We talked about Elvis and how this diner car came from New Jersey in the 40s. Just a great ole time here at Nicko’s.

Let’s go home.

OH NO!

We’re 50 years in the PAST! There’s no cell phone service!

What do we DO?

HOW will we get home?

Oh, panic! Panic!

Professor Marek, can you perform the necessary calculations to bring us back to our own time?

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Don’t worry, pops. I’ll get us home. Genius IS in my job description, after all. MMMMmmmmmmm…… POOF!

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We’re back. All in a day’s work.

Great food. Great people. Great history. Great coffee. And it’s been great for 50 years — we checked! Go there in 2009 or 1956 and tell ’em Marek and Andy sent ya!

We’re pleased to re-affirm Nicko’s Tampa Bay Breakfast rating of four and a half pancakes.

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Daily Eats

It’s a gosh-darned beautiful fall day in Florida. We’re going to celebrate these clear blue skies with … Breakfast! (For our fans in England, Canada, Europe, and the Northern United States, yes, we ARE rubbing it in! (For our fans in Tampa who think I’m making it up, we really DO have fans in England, Canada, Europe, and up north!))

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We visited Daily Eats at 901 S Howard Ave on 27 November 2009. Daily Eats has a website at http://www.dailyeatstampa.com/. This was our first successful visit to Daily Eats; we tried to come hear earlier in the year but we were there before they opened. Marek is sleeping later these days so we get a chance to try new places that open after 0800.

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Already we like this joint. The name “Daily Eats” is so basic, common-man, fundamental, people-oriented. It’s a simple diner inside, with a great lunch counter. Marek wants to sit here, but he couldn’t really reach yet. Next year, little buddy!

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The menu is pretty extensive, though I didn’t see the word “bacon” anywhere (our chipper waitress assured me we could get bacon if we wanted it). The very first thing I DID see is “blueberry pancakes!”

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The second thing I see is booze for breakfast. We noticed a table of girls and mimosas as we walked in, which set the scene for good times this fine Florida morning. Marek wanted the Bloody Mary, but he had to settle for his juice box. Bummer.

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Daily Eats is in the middle of the SOHO district of Tampa. There’s a lot of stylish, fancy folk in this part of town. Marek says, hey big-daddy, I’m a movie star. All the ladies love me. Talk to my agent. Dad.

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We had coffee. This was good swill. And when we left, we got a complimentary to-go cup of black beauty. We love coffee.

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While we waited for pancakes, we got into a discussion about Marek’s current favorite topic, dinosaurs. He really liked talking about dinosaurs and gave big kisses. I said “Triceratops.” Marek said “Soarasaurus.” I pointed out that there was no such thing and he must have made that up. He called me a non-paleontology-knowing dumb-dumb. I told him to look it up. He pulled a knife and stabbed me in the head. Just an average day.

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Thankfully, breakfast arrived before there was any sort of significant bloodletting. Look at this bodacious haul. Those pancakes must weigh a pound each.

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The eggs were perfect, exactly as I like them. The potatoes that came with the pancakes were quite yummy. The pancakes were good but really heavy. Neither Marek nor I were able to finish ours. I won’t disparage these pancakes, but I do personally prefer a lighter blueberry pancake experience.

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Marek liked the pancakes. But he liked them better with pepper. What? Don’t look at ME, I’m not putting pepper on MY pancakes. Ick.

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When we were done, Marek paid the bill. He likes earning his keep.

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He found his way and even made friends. I was too far away to hear, but it looks to me like he’s getting this girl’s phone number. “Hey baby, I may be two years old and live with my parents, but I’ve got my own breakfast money and I can count to ten in Spanish.” Probably makes him a pretty viable dating candidate compared to a 35 year old who lives with his parents and doesn’t have his own breakfast money.

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We went outside and played in traffic. Got to work off those heavy pancakes!

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We had a very nice time at Daily Eats. Folks were friendly. The chow was good. The price was nice (eleven bones for a meal the two of us couldn’t finish). And most importantly, we had fun. Well fun and a knife fight, but who’s keeping score? We’re pleased to give Daily Eats a Tampa Bay Breakfast rating of four pancakes.

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Daily Eats on Urbanspoon

Hickory Island Restaurant

We’re going on a road trip. We need maps.

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And provisions. And more provisions. Holy Moly, dad, are we STILL driving?

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We’re taking Tampa Bay Breakfast on the road. To the country.

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Loyal readers, especially the TBB addicts like fan DeniseK, may recall that our official territory is made up of Hillsborough and Pinellas counties AND the Levy-Citrus-Marion tri-county area, which is essentially Inglis, Crystal River, and Dunnellon. Today we went to Inglis. We visited the Hickory Island Restaurant at
48 Highway 19 South. Note the number of pickup trucks involved.

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Obviously, after the snacks and the maps and the crying (first me, then Marek, then together, and finally only him) and the hour and a half in the car Marek and I arrived at the Hickory Island in time for breakfast. As usual, there’s more to the story. And this, gentle reader, is where it gets personal. Nearly confessional. Gather round. Do as a nice older lady suggested to me later that day, and slip whiskey in your lemonade. We’re talking about Inglis. The word “city” in the name is a bit of an exaggeration.

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People know about Marek. And by now, people know about pancakes or they just aren’t paying attention. But what folks don’t know is that Marek’s honest-to-God middle name is “Inglis.” I heard you just ask which came first, Inglis the town or Inglis the boy? The town. And yes, he’s named after the town. And yes, he has my explicit permission in 14 years to swipe a town limits sign if the town hall won’t provide him with one. Inglis, much like Nikos diner in Tampa, has an Elvis Thing going on. We have an interesting relationship with Satan. We have a nuclear power plant, and we might have two nuclear power plants. We have around 1200 folks and one stop light and lots of pickup trucks and more churches than bars yet plenty of both and we’re proud of America and wish we had more jobs and we can’t all get along any better’n folks in Yankeetown but at least we have more stop lights. This is my hometown. We came for breakfast.

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The Hickory Island used to be The Port Inglis and used to be my all-time favorite breakfast. This was years ago, in the epoch known scientifically as “BM” (before Marek). The Port Inglis had some great old tables made of wood and resin and filled with nautical stuff. The kind of table you’d find from the 70s at a fleamarket and say, wow, I’m buying that just to let people come to my house and say, hey Andy, where’d you get THAT? And the PI used to have a nice gal named April. April would ask what I wanted and I’d tell her “coffee, and lots of it.” April would always bring me two cups of coffee at the same time and tell me I wanted a lot so here you go. Both the tables and April are gone (in the “not in this restaurant anymore” sense, hopefully not in the deceased sense!).

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So this is sort of a challenging breakfast, because this location holds a 55 gallon drum of memories for me, but it’s got new owners and has been completely renovated (I noticed that the toilets were the recipient of a much-needed upgrade, from 1930s fixtures and decor to 1970s fixtures and decor. That’s progress. What?). First thing we noticed were friendly folks welcoming us. Second thing we noticed was the nice menu, preserving that bit of Old Florida ways. Third thing we noticed was that we didn’t know or recognize a soul. That’s to be expected when you move away, but it still surprises me. Used to be I knew every face in town.

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We sat at a nice booth by the window.

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All the tables have big sheets of paper on them, like going to the doctor where there’s the paper covering the examining table. Our nice hostess brought a basket of crayons, and thank you sister, we got to work. Looks like Marek is practicing Hangul.

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This was one talented kid.

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I kept egging him on. (We had time on our hands. The menu warned us that chow was rolled fresh, so don’t be in a hurry. They weren’t lying!)

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And then … out came breakfast. Looks like Marek was writing out some classical Sijo poetry while we were waiting.

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Marek wasted no time. He hookup up his four wheel drive appetite and hauled this pancake out into the woods of his belly.

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This was a pretty good breakfast. I like the eggs done a little better. The bacon was sweet, which I’m not super-fond of personally. And it was non-Steve-standard. The pancakes were, as forewarned, quite large. And very good. And the coffee was exactly what you’d expect out of a southern fried breakfast joint like Hickory Island. Battery-acid Black Beverage, Boys!

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When we were done with coloring and playing and eating and eating, Marek paid the bill.

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He played to the crowd, doing a little hide-and-seek around the corners, making all the customers chuckle. Of course, none of them knew Who He Was yet!

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He found the register and payed the bill, and even returned the change!

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Then we had a nice conversation with some “new locals.” We talked about politics in Yankeetown and how Marek is known to some in these parts as “Baby Inglis.” Then he took me by the hand and hauled me and the spiders out of there!

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We had to meet Mom to go to the Yankeetown Seafood Festival, an annual pilgrimage for us. We got in Mom’s car and rolled out to the fest. I think you, my belov’d reader, will join me in the feeling that the below picture may not be improved by any caption or comment.

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We had a great visit in Inglis and Yankeetown. We saw grandparents and family. We went to the fest. We had pancakes and coffee. Marek got some exposure to his namesake hometown. And it was good. Hickory Island is a fine example of a down-home breakfast. Y’all go getcha some, and tell ’em Baby Inglis and his old man Andy sent ya. Except for Steve. If you go, bring your own bacon.

We’re pleased to give The Hickory Island Restaurant a Tampa Bay Breakfast four pancake rating.

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Pupuseria & Cafeteria Centroamericana

We were going to Los Hermanos Dominican Restaurant this morning. It was closed again for the second time. Later on we saw it opened up again, but wow, we were there for breakfast at like 0830, so I guess desayunos comes late in the Dominican Republic! Instead we stumbled on a new place, the Pupuseria & Cafeteria Centroamericana at 2504 W Dr Martin Luther King. We visited on 14 November 2009, and this was our first visit.

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We had no idea what we were in for with this adventure. Heck, me and Marek had to come home and look up a definition of Pupusas! We walked in the door and discovered we were in a Salvadoran restaurant. We applied our crafty knowledge of cultural cues and geography, plus our ability to read the t-shirts on display that were emblazoned with “El Salvador!” We’ve never been to a Salvadoran place, nor ever even met folks from El Salvador so far as we know. So we were in for a treat!

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We sat down to an interesting menu full of lovely new things for us to consider. Our lovely waitress did not speak English, so we had a chance to exercise our fledgling Español again. No pancakes on the menu, so we had to get out of our normal routine. I’m seriously considering making a Latin category for breakfasts, as it’s hard to do a pancakes review when there’s no pancakes!

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What do you think about this car?

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While they had cafe negro, I decided to stick with my policy that I just made up that I always have cafe con leche con desayunos, pero black coffee for breakfast. Marek, as our loyal and dear readers may have noticed, is off his coffee kick and sticking to the juice. This was a really delicious coffee. I had two!

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While we were having coffee, we couldn’t help but notice this beautiful piece of work. In fact, the whole place was full of nice little touches like this. We’ve lived as ex-pats so we know what an ex-pat refuge looks like, and the Pupuseria Centroamericana looks like a real oasis for folks with Salvadoran roots.

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Dad got un beso!

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Then breakfast came. So we didn’t get pancakes because they weren’t on the menu (though afterwards, I think they did have pancakes on the niños menu but I missed it when we were ordering). What we did was take the recomendation of our cheerful waitress and got the heuvos rancheros. Take a gander at this sumptuous plate of chow:

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That’s fried eggs with salsa, refried beans, sour cream, cheese, what appeared to be home-made corn tortillas, and plantains. Plus, we got some Cuban toast with cheese for Marek. Now to be perfectly honest, I’m really a pancake-man. A one-trick-pony, if you will. But us breakfast professionals have a burden to bear and sometimes we have to walk a challenging road, making great sacrifices along the way, in order to discover all the great breakfasts of Tampa Bay. So looking at this new breakfast, this desayunos nuevos, with a fresh eye, I can tell you that it was fabulous. Unfortunately, Marek didn’t agree. He barely touched it.

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But that turned out to be Marek’s problem as I made it my goal to find the bottom of the plate. Delicious! While I was occupied, Marek did his best to entertain the four señoritas bonitas who sat in the booth behind us. When we were done (me with eating both our breakfasts and Marek with being cute), Marek paid the bill.

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He made good friends along the way. We discovered that Salvadorans are some pretty gosh-darned friendly folks!

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We didn’t find this to be a particularly cheap breakfast, but much like our visit to J. Christopher’s a couple months ago, we had such good chow that we didn’t notice. Marek DID get a pop after he paid the bill, so he went away pretty gosh darned happy, too.

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This is one happy Marek.

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After breakfast we made it into a great day by picking up mom and going downtown. We took the Tampa Trolley!

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And we went to the Ybor City Saturday Market!

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Overall we had a great morning, and we got our start at the Pupuseria & Cafeteria Centroamericana. Friendly folks, definite locals vibe, really interesting interior with great Central American elements, and delicious, if non-TBB-standard, desayunos. Oh, and a pop. We liked this place a lot. We’re pleased to award Pupuseria & Cafeteria Centroamericana a four Tampa Bay Breakfast pancake rating.

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Skyway Jacks

Last night my favorite Guest Reviewer and mother of my child says to me in a sweet voice, Andy, I don’t think you truly love me. I reply, of course, that I truly do. She then drives her point home with all the subtly of a ball peen hammer: If you truly loved me, you’d have invited me to guest review at a five-pancake breakfast by now. Marek piped up and said, yeah, batter-brain, show us what you know!

So I pulled out all the stops. I took them to Skyway Jacks.

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Skyway Jacks is at 2600 34th St S in St. Pete. We’ve been to Skyway Jacks a bunch of times, but this is our first official Tampa Bay Breakfast Visit. And just to prove how serious this is, there’s an enormous chicken waiting outside the door.

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I’ve seen a lot of things, been to a lot of places, and Lordy-be, we’ve eaten a lot of breakfast in our day. But I still don’t know what to make of this.

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Skyway Jacks is one of the oldest, strangest, coolest, bestest places for breakfast I ever did know. It’s full of locals of all sorts, it’s always busy, and there’s a simply bizarre collection of pigs everywhere. And a great lunch counter. Keep eating pancakes, Marek, so you can grown tall enough!

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Our faithful readers may recall, we judge a place based on some serious factors. Food and price, obviously, but we really appreciate the wacko factor on the menu. And Skyway Jacks has it. This is the only place in town with brains on the menu.

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We knew what we came for, so we let mom, err, the Guest Reviewer, take pictures while we goofed off. Marek says, old man, all you ever do is eat pancakes and vote for Democrats. I replied, true, but I also give kisses to Marek!

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Breakfast came. I’m not going to lie to you, our loyal TBB fans. We were actually given a choice today between getting a look at a Grand Unified Theory that combines relativistic and quantum observations and getting Skyway Jacks pancakes. There was no hesitation. Also, I’ve got to brag about my killer Rocking with Hawking shirt.

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Marek dug right in like he hadn’t seen a pancake in years. Also note the sign behind him. “No hot pants or bathing suits allowed in dining room. Please remove them before entering.” I’ve got nothing to add.

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Our guest reviewer hit the French toast with an elbow-drop worthy of Macho Man Randy Savage.

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The coffee, you ask? It was delightful. Black like the motor oil of that old VW bus out front. Bitter like being a loyal Bolts fan in the years since 2004. Bottomless like the dress code at a nudist camp. In other words, perfect diner coffee.

Oh yeah.

This is good breakfast.

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You don’t see these much any more. Kind of cool to see one still in operation. Marek wanted to pick up some Pall Malls but I didn’t have any quarters.

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Then the check came. Let’s talk about the bill for a moment. Guest Reviewer Mom got french toast and orange juice. She’s so polite and conservative that way. Marek had a pancake. I had coffee, blueberry pancakes, and bacon. That’s three real meals. 17 bones. That’s it.

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Marek says, ease back, Gandalf, I’ve got this one covered.

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And he’s off through the dining room. I believe I saw him pull some moves that would make this year’s Bucs defense scared.

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He came back with change. AND he came back with a POP. Just when you thought it was too good to talk about, it gets even better.

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Watch out for this lady.

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When we were done with breakfast, we hauled our pancake-laden selves down to Fort Desoto and had “long walks on the beach.” That’s what you do when you’re in love, at least according to the personal ads. And we’re in love. With Skyway Jacks.

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There’s few things in the world that you can really love without question. Your parents. The Declaration of Independence. A Tampa Bay sports team having a winning season …

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… And This Breakfast. Price: superbly affordable. Mom-n-pop-ness: Top-notch and full of locals. Unique factor: Craziest, oddest, neatest breakfast we know. Chow: The Best gosh-darned Blueberry Pancakes I ever paid for (my own mother doesn’t charge me, so it’s not a fair comparison!).

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We’ve given a few 5-pancake ratings this year. Farmer John’s is in Pasco County and so is really outside of Tampa Bay proper. Marek’s Grandma’s breakfast is top-rated but it’s not open to the general public. The breakfast for Tampa’s homeless is rated more for philanthropy than for the fact that it’s a breakfast you can just go get. But Skyway Jacks. THIS is our favorite in-territory, publicly accessible, Tampa Bay Breakfast.

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We are teary-eyed as we open the envelope and announce that Skyway Jacks has been awarded an honor we just made up while writing this for “Breakfast of the Year 2009” from Tampa Bay Breakfasts.

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Oh, and five pancakes too. Go get you some. Tell ’em Marek and Andy sent ya!

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I gotta take a nap now.

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